Humor for Hot August Nights
Recalling that someone's grandchildren may well be reading these, you are invited to add a bit of selected humor to facilitate our happy movement through these hot August nights....
posted by John Cagle at 7:30 PM
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Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Recalling that someone's grandchildren may well be reading these, you are invited to add a bit of selected humor to facilitate our happy movement through these hot August nights....
4 Comments:
To get this started---
John Cagle sent me an email saying that his pool was almost warm enough to cook lobsters. Well, I did not challenge him on that, nor did I point out how politically incorrect lobster consumption is by his comrades. However, he added that Fresno was hotter than Hell.
We live about 15 minutes from Hell----Hell Michigan that is.
What I told John was that,
"I can certify that you have been living through temperatures that are hotter than Hell."
Keep cool,
Gerry
Some years ago, Stokes and I were recalling some of the old jokes from our college days and determined that we could save time by just repeating the punch lines. Now I find that it also saves key strokes. Remember these?
Wrecked'em? Hell, it damn near killed'em.
I love you so much I could shit.
RATS! Big fucking rats with dicks this long!
A bus stops and Anselmino and Olster get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears Anselmino say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come
once-a-more! . Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come one lasta time."
The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig," she retorted indignantly."In this country. we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives.
"Hey, coola down lady," said Anselmino. "Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda Olster how to spell 'Mississippi'."
I heard this one today from a friend:
Recently, while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long gray hair, wearing a white robe and sandals, and holding a staff.
President Bush went up to the man and said, "Has anyone told you that you look like Moses?"
The man didn't answer. He just kept staring straight ahead.
Then the President said, "Moses" in a loud voice.
The man just stared ahead, never acknowleding the President.
The President pulled a Secret Service Agent aside and, pointing to the robed man, asked him, "Am I crazy or does that man look like Moses to you?"
The Secret Service Agent looked at the man and agreed.
"Well," said the President, "every time I say his name, he ignores me and stares straight ahead refusing to speak. Watch!"
Again the President yelled, "Moses!" and again the man ignored him.
Feeling the President's frustation, the Secret Service Agent went up to the man in the robe and whispered, "You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?"
The man leaned over and whispered back, "Yes, I am Moses. However, the last time I talked to a bush, I spent forty years in the desert and ended up leading my people to the only spot in the entire Middle East where there is no oil."
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